Why NOT to quit your job to travel

It happens to many of us, the sudden urge to let it all be and leave on a trip. To travel for months or years on end. Why not even indefinitely? Sell the house, the car, let someone else take care of the dog. Then it's just packing bags, buying travel insurance and one plane ticket to get you going. It's not hard to understand that people feel like leaving their lives behind, possibly to start over.

There's people that daydream about yelling "YEAH BYE NOW" through the office hallways, thinking they found their way out of the rat race. And maybe they have, who am I to argue that. However, you change the problems you have today for other, new problems of tomorrow. Money will always be of importance, no matter how low you keep your expenses. You do need that health insurance and you do need money for accommodation. If you manage these expenses, there's cost of transport, the new shoes, the hat to provide shade from the sun.

Ideally, you should always have money to be able to get back home to any relatives or friends should tragedy strike. You can be self-reliant but it does bring other problems. You might think you become independent, but you become ever more dependent on others. If you have less money, you'll rely on the kindness of others to help you through the day. To get hitchhiking, there needs to be that kind stranger that pulls over. Can you use their laundry machine? You just might. In many cases, human kindness knows no end. People are one magnificent bunch! But you rely on them more than while you worked your job.

Let's say you become independent by freelancing, writing, editing or simply selling travel stories. You'll need to put so much effort into the way in which you present yourself and your work that the feeling of independence will quickly fade. Besides, your clients will switch to another provider in a matter of seconds if your work doesn't live up to their expectations. There are many others making their way working on the road, trying to make their own living. They might be able to write a post for a bit less money, and some more buzzwords.

If you choose independence from your work, your money will have to come from somewhere else. The concern of your income source can cloud your day. Perhaps, you'll be thinking back to the Friday afternoons when you left your office feeling happy to embrace your freedom. Even if only for two days. You went to have some drinks and took a comfortable cab home. You gave a generous tip. Perhaps you went to clubs, bought some fancy drinks and generally had no second thought about enjoying your free time and spending lots of cash. Maybe you saved money all through your life to buy your house. To pay off student debts. This gave you a feeling of security. You'd work it out, you'd pay off these debts and then your mortgage. Then you sold the house to go travel. Unless you're very strong-minded, you will look back on these decisions with a sense of doubt. When you walk through the rain on the way to some local bus station with your laptop soaked in your backpack, you will look back to the Sunday mornings you had a good coffee at home while sitting next to the central heating under a blanket.

The point is that nobody can tell you whether you made the right or wrong decision. Each other person you know has to make these decisions for themselves and they don't even know. There's many people in their cubicles thinking the exact same thing as you. People go through their lives not knowing things. Only you know what's good for you. Or more likely, you have no clue. Embrace the fact that nobody knows and therefore you yourself must decide. Yes, you can listen to your parents, but they might advise you to stay close and secure so they know you're well. This is not necessarily best for you either. In fact, there's many parents that cannot detach the child from themselves and are for that reason overprotective, anxious to see their boy or girl set off into the big world. So don't expect them to advise you on what to do. They can until a certain point. They surely have your best interest at heart but cannot be expected to make the decision for you. Besides, your parents are normal adults. Just like you. Except for the fact that you know how to use the Internet and will more readily surf the web or listen to some YouTube channel to find arguments for your decision. Listen and make a comparison on the consequences of staying home or hitting the road.

So, it's YOU that needs to decide. Just like it's only going to be you facing death in a small amount of time, because life is very short. And you better make sure you don't have big regrets at that moment - so make the decisions now that you're healthy and can move freely. That being said, there are combinations of keeping a steady income and traveling often. Many people are unwilling to put in the effort of becoming self-employed and even if they were, most new businesses fail. For that reason, it's not such a bad idea to keep your job and then work on a side hustle. But tell your boss. Make sure it doesn't have any influence on your daily work tasks. Your boss deserves to know. The contract might mention that you can't have a side business, perhaps only if it's not related to the field you work in. Make sure you cover it. HR colleagues are open to dialogue and will appreciate your honesty. Then, at some other point, you could also request a long time off or take three-day weekends. If you're a genuinely good employee and are lucky enough to find yourself at a job where you're treated well, you can easily start this conversation. They might be willing to keep you and just as much give you the freedom to reach some personal goals. They understand you're young and might grant you the three-day weekends or just a part-time function. If you cut out all the unnecessary small talk at work and just stick to your job, you can complete your tasks in half a day anyway.

Then, travel close. Find what there is to see around the place you live and use your free time fully to see what there is. If you've been there all your life and you'd prefer another place, see where else your company is and check if you can move to another office. Perhaps in the same country but why not abroad? If you're in the EU, you have free movement and it should be easy to get yourself settled anywhere else. But again, start the dialogue. You will not know unless you start talking about your desire to see more of the world. Then, if your boss sees that you are happier and more productive because you actually better enjoy life now, you just built yourself a much better relationship. You get to travel while enjoying the comforts of a steady job with good coffee and the cosiness of your apartment. You have clean clothes, which is another thing you start missing during prolonged travel. You get exhausted of washing, drying and eventually buying new clothes.

Go on a long trip, at least for months, and you'll find you appreciate your home comforts. Clean laundry hanging outside on your balcony and the smell of fresh coffee. The feeling you get after you just cleaned the whole place. Your own place. Your cups, your couch. You'll appreciate a hug from your mom when you see her. It's what you'd never think of twice but you'll miss it if you're away from home just long enough. Travel is fantastic but can get tiring. You will get lifelong benefits from travel. It will enrich you. You should definitely go if you feel like it. If you start thinking about it more often, you already know you want it. Do not postpone. Do make a comparison of quitting your job or not. No matter the amount of savings you have. Quitting before the dialogue gives your boss no chance to meet you halfway. And it's not fair. Be the adult in this - let your boss know what your personal goals are. What you built up, what you manage to keep while working and traveling at the same time, will change your life in the long run. This post should not convince you to take one way or the other. It should make you think that all your decisions, even if they seem small, have an outcome on the way you live your life. It really matters.

© copyright 2017 - All Rights Reserved

Roy, the bullied boy that broke

"Don't forget to take your lunch!" said Lauren as Roy was about to leave for school. His mother always reminded him as he tended to forget to pack either his books or his lunch. It was going to be another long day at school for Roy. A day which he hoped would turn out for the better. The last days had been especially hard. The other kids, the "bullies" as his mother would call them, had really put Roy on the edge. It wasn't easy for him. He'd felt like an outcast ever since he got into high school. Elementary school had been quite okay, but then again the kids were not that much into their cliques and popularity contests. This all changed once they got into high school and their puberty kicked in. They tended to pick on the weakest and it turned out that Roy had become the target. They kicked his backpack and sometimes would take it and throw it into the trash bin. It would make Roy bite his lips and he'd cry from the inside. Trying to hold back the tears, he would walk into the bathroom seemingly careless. That's where he would let the tears flow.

He felt so alone. So lonely on this world. There was nobody he could hold onto, except for his family. It was so hard and he wondered why he even went to school in the first place. He wondered if all the people in the world were like this. His mom, Lauren, said the world was filled with good and you should meet people with the impression that they mean well. Yet Roy started to question all of this. Perhaps it wasn't true at all. Perhaps the whole world had turned against him, from the girls laughing at his clothes while riding his bike to school to the teacher doing nothing when he took a beating in front of the classroom. He did have support from his parents, but only so much. He kept being sent back to school and this resulted in more bullying, people stealing his lunch, more bruises. His lunch package was taken from him so often that he just stopped taking it to school altogether. His dad said “Well, just hit them one time. Show them you won't take it anymore. You can't go on like this. Make them swallow it.” But Roy was not a violent person. He had not a single bad hair on his head. He woulnd't hurt an ant, he thought. Roy had been stuck, he didn't know whether he should speak up or stay silent and just take it, until he would finish high school in a few years.

He had no idea how it had come this far. The years just seemed to pass. From September, when he'd get in school, he'd be in a new class each year. However, he always had at least a few bullies coming with him from the last class. While in general the people in the new class didn't know each other yet, the bullies would slowly start picking on Roy. Then, the others saw it as a green light and they'd lighten up finding out they'd have a new target for the year. Someone new to release their own insecurities on. Roy was so sick of it, but he couldn't stop going to school. His parents would have none of it.

And so, another year had started. Roy was on his bike to school. He liked to stop near the station and look at birds in the trees and on the power lines. He'd then watch the train pull out of the station. Roy would then ride his bike past the bus station. Greeting one friendly driver on the way. Roy loved to ride the regional bus out of town on the weekends. He would buy a ticket for one day, visiting some towns in the region. The drivers would ask where he was going, more out of concern than out of interest. He'd reply he liked traveling. Then the drivers started recognizing him and said hello as Roy passed on his bike, on the way to school. Passing the drivers at the bus station made Roy feel like he'd reached a safe haven, a sort of checkpoint he could fiel relieved. Nobody making fun of him on the way, could be the beginning of a good day. Nobody pushing him off his bike, even better.

Roy reached school and walked to his locker. He'd just say hello to some random people, in the hope they would say hello back and he'd manage to establish some acquaintance or friendship. Most of the people at this big school didn’t know Roy, so they all ignored his friendly hello's and good morning's. He took off his jacket and put it into his locker. He wore a new sweater vest his mom had bought him. On the front, large letters spelled "DUDE". He felt pretty confident wearing it. It was in dark blue, with yellow and grey letters. His favourite colours, perfect for autumn, he figured. Directly as he walked up the stairs, two girls started giggling as they passed him. Nothing special, he'd think, while moving on. He then entered the classroom and sat down. He was late and the teacher reminded him by saying "Dude, be on time tomorrow!". A soft "Yes, sir" came from Roy's pale lips. "You want him to be your dude?" said Carley to her long-haired blonde friend Angela. "Well no thank you.." she replied. It had already taken all confidence out of Roy. He still liked the sweater vest though and kept wearing it with the little pride left in him.

After another long day, he rode his bike back home. He made a detour. Along the river. His best part of the day so far. Nobody around, nobody to be watchful for. Roy didn’t know what made him special. Or if he even was special. Was he even a someone? It could all be nothing – a life full of bullying and then it just ends. Or maybe not. His head hurt from thinking so much. Roy decided to stop at a bench, dropped his bike and sat down. He started his breathing exercises. His mom always told him to breathe in deeply and than slowly exhale at the ten-second mark. It helped him somewhat but still the thoughts raged through his head. He decided just to stop thinking and looked at the landscape, tall, green grass and birds flying over. The river just about fifty metres away. He wondered how nature could be so perfect, so peaceful. But what could help Roy, could it be the birds? Could he be friends with them? A pidgin flew by. Then again. It got down on the road and walked towards Roy, hesitantly. Roy hadn’t eaten his lunch. He took some pieces of bread and started feeding the pidgin. It came closer and they made eye contact. Strange but satisfying for Roy. Here was some being that didn’t judge him for the vest he wore. He felt much better all of a sudden, even though he could never exchange a conversation with this bird. He wished he could fly with it, all over the city. Then shit on some bully’s head.

A lady was on her way, on a bike. Still far. Closer and closer. Eventually, she noticed Roy. She stopped and the pidgin was scared, it took some more bread and flew away. “How are you doing young boy?” asked the lady with grey hair and red lipstick. “Great, some old witch with thick rimmed glasses coming to lecture me. Probably going to whine about the breadcrums.” She asked if she could sit down. Roy said “Sure” even though he hated the idea. They said nothing to each other for a few minutes. This broke the ice for Roy and he asked how she was doing. “Not too bad, I picked some plums from my garden. Would you like some?” “I could try, sure..” The lady took a little plastic bag and packed a handful of plums. She gave them to Roy. “I’ll be on my way now..” said the lady. “Wait, please, I would really like to talk a bit..” mumbled Roy. The lady saw the concern in his eyes and asked what bothered him. “I have no friends.. I am alone in this world. They bully me and I don’t feel safe..” The lady sat back down. “I am so sorry to hear that.. And don’t you have a girlfriend you can talk to?” “I am ALONE” said Roy, with tears rolling down his cheeks. The lady hugged him and again they were quiet for a few minutes. She did not know what to say. She admitted she didn’t have children and also wasn’t bullied as a child. She just listened to Roy, and what was going on in the school.

Eventually, after Roy had stopped crying, a group of boys and girls on a bike came by. Roy recognized them from school. A first couple yelled “FAGGOT!”. Roy didn’t know what to do. The lady was horrified as well. “Who’s that old twat, is she your grandma?” yelled a boy from his bike. At that point, Roy couldn’t take it anymore. He picked a few plums from the plastic bag and started throwing them at the bully. He was at least sixteen. Much older than Roy. Taller and stronger. But he didn’t care anymore. He had no feeling, nothing but anger. They had insulted his only friend, the lady who was sitting there, shocked by Roy’s sudden outburst. He kept throwing plums and the bully got off his bike. The bully rolled up his sleeves and Roy backed down. He knew he had picked a fight. Not a good decision.. He stepped back a bit more, until he was stopped by some bushes poking his back. “Leave the boy alone!” yelled the lady. “I’ll get to you later you old skank!”, yelled the bully. Roy then took his chance and grabbed the basked off the lady’s bike. At a moment the bully wasn’t paying attention, Roy hit him over the head with the heavy basked. Plums rolled out, into the bushes, onto the road. The lady got up and tried to stop Roy but couldn’t. The bully had fallen onto his shoulder and tried to get up. Roy pushed him back down and spit in his face. “You’re ruining my life! You and your friends! It’s ENOUGH now! I have never felt safe with you bastards around!” The bully was gasping for air and had his mouth wide open. Roy grabbed some plums and shoved them down his throat. “SWALLOW those pits you scumbag! I’ll make you shit plum trees you rat fucker!” The bully nearly lost it and had at least four plums in his mouth. The lady now pulled back Roy and the bully got up. He picked out the plums and looked in horror. He was too afraid to do anything. He had bruises all over his face and was in pain. Roy and the bully stared at each other. A pidgin, perhaps the same one, was looking from beneath the bench. The lady, the bully and the pidgin all looked at Roy in silence.

© copyright 2017 - All Rights Reserved

#Shortstory

Don't be afraid to travel alone

At first, I traveled alone because I had no other choice. I grew to love it. Traveling alone has become my standard. It does not bother me to be alone in the slightest. I have never felt lonely, not even one second in my life. I have never felt boredom. Loneliness and boredom are words I cannot understand easily. Traveling alone, I have the chance to reflect. I am as flexible as can be. I decide where to go and can even cancel the trip altogether, without any hard feelings. The decisions are all mine and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Being alone is freedom. And even though a travel buddy could make trips nicer, there would have to be a match. Adventure is important to me. Safety comes first but when that is settled, I am always up for some hitchhiking or hitting the road without any idea where to spend the night. This, for me, is life. And when I do it alone, I have time to relfect on life. On the big questions. Or, I get to look out of the train window for hours. Nobody to please but myself.

I found that I actually make friends on the road. People are curious about lone travelers. They might strike up a conversation. Who knows, why not make a friend for a day? I tend to like meeting people on the road. We both know this is most likely a one-time encounter. It means there’s a clean slate. We can be honest and have an interesting conversation, without holding anything back. Show the slightest interest in someone else traveling alone and you might end up having a memorable conversation. Lone travelers acknowledge each other and most likely feel the same way about traveling alone. Or, they’re interested in why you find yourself alone. It’s important to be confident about it, to keep yourself out of trouble. Sure, people might be interested in you, but in large cities a stranger alone can be an easy target. So know when to be alone or when to blend into a crowd. It’s something you learn over the years of traveling. When you travel alone, especially for many times, you’ll be far more aware of your own senses. They get fine-tuned. All noises, all people on a train, you’ll know what’s going on around you.

I travel alone because it’s easier. Friendships, for me, should consist of shared experiences. Not just looking at your phones in the same room. I would rather pass on that. Being on the road is improving yourself. You take full delight. And if you take someone, you actually develop the friendship. Either it ends on this trip or it improves by a tenfold. You’ll know if you’ve taken the right friend on the first day. When you miss a bus or don’t find a place to stay, it’s in these moments your and your friends’s characters show.

I was afraid to travel alone at first. Yet, I prefer to be alone as long as I don’t have the right company. And, this is how more people could feel. Go at it alone, love yourself first and seek no approval. If traveling alone comes up in you only once, you deep down know you want it. Even if you don’t have the courage just yet, it’s what you want and nothing should stop you of doing it alone. Be your own best friend and don’t let doubt stop you. You have this one life and this decision is what you will be proud of in the end. You have no obligation and are ultimately free. And, if you do meet a partner or travel buddy, that would be just great. Chances are likely you meet them on your trip. Stop wasting time, from now on it’s good vibes only and planning your first solo trip!

Stop seeking approval. You only need your own.

© copyright 2017 - All Rights Reserved